Raya's Birthday and Other Pictures!

It is my birthday....

So what?

After much coaxing, she finally enjoyed her cake

Yeah for birthdays!!

Marissa's wedding....red shoes!

Irish soda bread

Valentine's Day lobster dinner

Christmas Photos

Spencer's foam knife from Raya (One of my family's tradtiosn as kids was going to a dollar store and buying gifts for other family members. It was always so much fun and really got us in the spirit of giving, so we started it this year!)

Raya's purse from Spencer

Raya's cell phone from Santa

Spencer's big cowboy gun from Santa

Raya's First Christmas

Sitting at the table for Christmas Eve Dinner

waiting to sit on Santa's lap

Playing dress up

Family Pictures 2011!!

Confessions from This Nursing Mother (Revisited)

I planned to nurse my baby for a year; I don't think I am going to make it. My baby is 7 months old, she loves soilds and doesn't see to like even being latched on any more. I feel like my supply is down and she doesn't even care to stay on and help get my supply up. She nurses and then cries. I felt so bad that I offered her a bottle and voila! that's what she wanted. My poor hungry baby.
I am really depressed about all this. That I can't produce enough to satify her or not caloric enough. She still fits in most 3-6 months clothes since she is still like 14 lbs. She hasn't reached double her birth weight, which babies are supposed to reach by 6 months. Everyone comments on how tiny she is.
 I tried so hard to make it. I really struggled around 4 months and somehow survived on about 5 hours of interupted sleep as I tended to her hungry cries, hoping to get my supply up. I took Fenugreek, an herb that helps boost your supply. It worked for a little bit. But truly my breasts haven't felt really good a full for a few months. I use to wake up full but now I can go 12 hours between feedings and not feel much difference. I know that she gets feed and satisfied sometimes because I can hear her swallow and she is a very happy baby.
I am sure I have done something wrong like letting her have a pacifier and giving her a bottle at night. Yet many other moms do this and still nurse for a year or more. I feel guilty and angry and sad.  I don't understand why I could be a "strudy mountain women" and push her out drug free but not be able to nurse her for a year.  I put trust in my body to do it but now feel like I was forcing something that wasn't meant to be.  I tried so hard and now not to make it to a year, I feel like a failure.  What was the point of trying so hard just to come up short in the end anyway?
And now I have to buy formula....great.

Mom’s Cornbread

¾ cup yellow cornmeal
1 cup flour
½ cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 cup milk
1 egg, well beaten
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 425 degrees and grease an 8 x 8 pan. Mix wet and dry ingredients separate. Then add the wet to the dry and blend well. Bake for 20 minutes.
*I prepared the cornbread and but it into the pan and let it sit for an hour or more before cooking it and it turned out to be the best cornbread I ever made!

Crockpot Pinto Beans

4 cups of dry beans, rinsed
4 Tablespoons oil
5 Tablespoons vinegar
Salt to taste
Ham hock, or 3 slices of bacon
Water
Add beans, oil, vinegar and salt. Add ham hock or bacon, if using bacon the slices will just float onto of water. Add water to cover beans, leaving about a few inches space at the top. Cook on high 4-6 hours or until the bean are cooked and soft. May have to add more water so keep an eye on them as it get close to 4 hours. Serve with cornbread or over rice. We love to crumble our cornbread over the beans…so good that way!

Green Chili Pork

For Burritos*
3 or 4 lb pork roast or tenderloin 1 28 oz can green chili enchilada sauce
½ cup water 1 onion, chopped
1 Tablespoon salt 1 teaspoon cumin
Pepper A handful for cilantro, chopped
4 cups green chilies, chopped (I usually use canned) ½ to 1 cup drippings from roast

Cook pork in Crockpot with ½ cup water, salt, and pepper overnight on low. (I don’t always do this if I am pressed for time and it still turns out great!)
Remove roast and save liquid. Shred meat and return to Crockpot with liquid and the rest of the ingredients. Cook on high, uncovered for 2-3 hours, watch it and stir occasionally. If getting to thick add some reserved liquid. You want it the right consistency to be spooned into a tortilla. When it is done, enjoy with your favorite burrito toppings and sides.